I don’t need an excuse to get angry and defensive. You?

I get the urge to tell a lot of things to f&*k off, which I know from having many good old conversations with myself that THAT comes from being tired, undernourished and in the wrong environment.

So my ears pricked up at a recent panel talk of fabulous women where one said we needed to tell our inner critic to f&*k off. My power hungry female couldn’t agree more. My Inner Rhythm couldn’t agree less.

What the f$%k is an inner critic and inner rhythm when they’re at home having a cuppa? I shall elaborate…

The inner critic is that voice that puts you down and makes you feel like you’re totally out of place in this life and that your wants and desires will never work. We’ve been aware of them since birth, but have learned to live and swallow them up like a god. Apparently, they’re always there, which I agree. But I don’t agree that they are your inner critic.  By understanding my menstrual cycle, I turned my inner critic into my inner ally and here’s how; I sat down with it and actually listened. 

Like you, I’m well aware of how I’ve been conditioned to talk to myself. Having lived most of my life with my nan, that don’t let the b&st&ards win monologue played out constantly (which I don’t think has done me any damage. In fact, it’s given me a power source to flow through life with). Studying with the Red School, we eventually landed in the Inner Autumn of the menstrual cycle where the Inner Critic was welcomed AND transformed. Because what I realised was, the inner critic was simply the whipped cream conversation that sat on the top of what was an iceberg of a conversation below. Overstimulated nervous systems and beliefs around not having enough time only allowed me to hear that you're not good enough and it’s all going to turn to sh*t narrative that was such a habit, it was just normal. Having had enough of this kinda talk, I sat with it and realised that underneath all that, my inner ally was trying to tell me that I was forcing something I didn’t have the energy for AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME. The inner autumn is a place of reflection and deep awareness. It’s not where you start acting on new ideas and going full force. 

When I realised this, my world danced to a different Chaka Khan beat! I got my rhythm back. I wasn’t such a bitch to myself and I didn’t limit myself to my beliefs. This is what will support you through perimenopause/menopause with the inner critic by being able to trust the way you feel, what you need to not overwhelm yourself with it and that it will pass.

So how do you turn your Inner Critic into your Inner Autumn?

• Track your menstrual cycle. Look at when you step into your Inner Autumn and what habits show up for you.

• Give yourself space here to have a conversation with your Inner Critic so you can transform it into your Inner Ally. Just like a small child, it won’t be ignored and needs to feel safe, secure and confident to change the communication and relationship

• Make sure you are in environments such as Project Woman or MPowder who can hold that space for you.

The inner critic isn’t something to be feared but listened to so you can grow in your vulnerable side. It’s also part of the dark side of female health, which offers a rich exploration of shifts, identities and relationship transformations. By building long-lasting, refreshing rituals for this space of female health, you’ll be able to hold yourself, your emotions and your longing for life strongly together.

COME AND JOIN ME FOR THE PROJECT WOMAN AUTUMN IMMERSION, CORNWALL ON THE 27TH SEPTEMBER 2024. CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK