I’ve not been searching for permission after all

Anger has driven me for a long time. And that emotion created an action of defensiveness. I defend myself even when I don’t need to, which has been a deep groove to climb out of. I notice this emotional reaction shows up a lot in the later half of my cycle, the luteal phase/Inner Autumn. A time when my internal defenses come down and I’m left standing there naked, feeling like I need someone to rescue me.